SEX THERAPY WITH DR. GOODIS: After Three Years, I found Out My Husband’s Gay




DEAR Dr Goodis,

I HAVE a problem that I have found very difficult to share with anybody, but since I read you online, I have decided to let the world know, through your medium.

I met my husband about three years ago, rich, handsome and very accommodating. We met at a watering hole in the East, during Christmas. He proposed to me three months after and because I was not into any relationship at that time, I agreed without any hesitation. Weeks later, we were married, travelled to Malaysia for our Honeymoon and later stayed in the UK and the US for weeks.


I was over the moon, I had met the man of my dreams; so I thought,

About a year later, after I had my first son, I came back home from the super market he opened for me (won’t mention the city) to find him and his closest friend who was his Best Man, almost sitting on each other’s laps in our living room. I had never seen him that close to a male before, but as naïve as I was, I did not see the red flag.

But about two months later, he left his mobile at home as he hurriedly left for work. My husband is not that ‘techi, techi’ guy, he does not even know how to password a phone. So I was with his mobile all day; that was after he called my mobile to confirm if he actually left it at home.

Out of curiosity, I started going through his phone at about 1pm, an action I will regret till I die. What I saw shocked me. I Saw photos of him and his Best Man, someone I call ‘Uncle K’ (not real names because I do not know if he or my husband is reading this), in very uncompromising positions. What nailed it was an SMS where my husband was saying romantic things to ‘Uncle K’ and wishing him a ‘Happy Birthday’. This man I call my husband never wrote me sweet things like that for three birthdays we have been together.

When I saw a picture among the somewhat nude collection, of my husband kissing ‘Uncle K’, I knew this was not an ordinary ‘best friend’/ ‘Best man’ relationship! My husband is GAY or rather, he is Bi-sexual, because I am having his second child in three years of marriage.

Dr. Goodis, what do I do now? He irritates me anytime he wants to make love to me. I feel creepy and want to throw up. I have not been a good girl, even in the university, but I have never subscribed to either lesbianism or homosexualism. Now, I am saddled with a gay as husband and he does not even know I know his status.


SIR, what do I do?

Mrs. XXX

Dear Mrs. XXX,

This is not the first time I am getting to hear of this kind of issue, so I am not really shocked. However this is my advice to you, let him know you know his ‘little’ secret.

You need to counsel him, talk to him in a frank manner. The danger of this scenario is, he may send you packing. But then, you are already feeling creepy anytime he wants to make love to you, so obviously, things cannot be the same again with your marriage. I am sorry to say, this marriage is OVER.




Stay safe


Doctor Goodis Love

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